Thanksgiving Reflections

This year has brought me great understanding in God, and great revelation in God’s plan for me in the future. I feel like there is three things He have been teaching me, Love, Faith and Suffering.

First, He started with Love in the summer, He brought Matthew 22:37-40 to me when summer just started, I was back home working and I was suddenly surround by non-Christian, I wanted to do something, I wanted to change them but I had no idea how.

“Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

He taught me Huan just let it go, it is my work to change their hearts, break their prides, and renew their hearts. I am the savior, I am the redeemer and the healer, not you. I just want to you love Me with all you got, love these people around you like you self, and I’ll do the rest. I saw with my own eyes how my father grows closer in God, how my brothers grow strong in their conviction, how my co-workers ask me where to start to read the bible, and how someone gives their heart to Christ. I saw with my own eyes how Lord Jesus Christ did His business, how His words come to life, and all I did was just simply loved them as best as I could.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” –John 13:34-35

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” -1 Corinthians 13:1-7

Second, He showed me the meaning Faith. Starting last semester, when I lost my RA job during the school year, when my grades is terrible from my own mistakes, I thought to myself, how I am suppose to support my self, how I am suppose to fulfill the vision He give me, to be a petroleum engineer be send over seas to share His name and to advance His kingdom? He then showed me these verses.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:33-34

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Roman 12:1-2

That I need not to worry, about how all those thing will work out, all I need to do is seek His kingdom in my studies, to understand His design in petroleum engineering, seek His righteousness in my walk with Him, I need to offer my body as living sacrifice to Him pure and holy, not want what/desire this world want/desire, but want and desire what is of God. Only then I can be able to test and approve what God’s will.

Summer started, I stared my internship, after talking to various new hires at the company, I found out this company have never hired anyone with below 3.0 GPA, and I have 2.8. I was again worried and frustrated, how all this suppose to work out. Than He showed me these verses during summer.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” –Proverbs 4:25-27

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see..”-Hebrew 11:1

That I need not worry about how I need to get my boss to like me, I just need to love them as Christ loved me, I just need to do the best as I can of my job that is set before me, and certain and sure that what God will give me what I needed.

This October I got a call from Kerr-McGee, the company I worked for in the summer, that they have an offer for me after graduation in Houston, before the people with much much higher grades, and the compensation was so much, it was much much more then what I needed, or what I deserve. Again I saw with my own eyes how His words come to life, how He provided for thing I don’t deserve.

Third, He teached me about suffering, started at beginning of this year. In February, I lost my RA job at the university, I was fired by my Hall Coordinator for negligence in my job, I was fired for not taking my walkie talkie to the bathroom while giving my student hair cut, for late to my on-call duty because of my exam took longer then expected, etc … I felt extremely unfair, my students wanted to write protest letters to the higher ups, but I know this is God’s will, I did do all those thing I was accused of, and I need to respect authorities, no matter how unfair I might fell.

Then with in two weeks, I broke up with my fiancés that I was engaged to, I realized we had made idols of each-other, that God wanted me to seek Him first, love Him with all my heart all my soul and all my strength, that I was not ready, I was still immature in my walk, how can I lead her, and my future is still uncertain, how can I rescue her? It was so hard, I did not want to do that at all, but again I know this is God’s will, that this is for the best. I will walk this broken road because it prepares Your will for me.

Two week ago I rememorized Psalm 23,
“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Now just this past week, on Tuesday night after my test, I was driving back home from Austin on 290, I set my cruise control at 80mph. 2AM finally, I arrived in Houston I was very tired, I turned on the 290 ramp to get on Beltway 8 to go home, just as I got on the ramp I realized my cruise control is still on and this is way too fast for this ramp, I stump on the breaks, but it was already too late, my back tires broke loose started to slide toward left at 80mph, I corrected to the right try to stabilize, but the whole back end traction have broken loose, I end up sliding side ways on the 84 ft high ramp, my front driver side crashed into the ramp wall while sliding side ways, finally while slide sideways on the ramp, back end of my car crashed into the ramp wall, and my car come to a rest sitting sideways on the 84 ft high ramp. Later a friend ask what did you think about while all this is happening, I remember that I felt calm, in my head I thought, is this the valley of the shadow of death? I will not fear, for You are with me. And thank you God that I am not hurt, that you protected me while sliding sideways 80mph on 84 ft high ramp and that my car is still repairable, Thank you Lord Jesus.
(Picture http://huanhuan.blogspot.com/2004/11/lost-control.html )

God again brought a verse for this.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. " -Romans 5:3-5

Thank you for you Love Lord Jesus for this year, its been a wild ride, but man oh man, life is exciting living in the Lord, I can’t wait what you will do next. Sometimes, it seems like winter, leafs are falling off, all seems dying, everything is not happening like how we wanted, but spring is coming, all will be green again, this hope does not disappoint us, God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. The LORD is our shepherd, we shall not be in want. He makes us lie down in green pastures, he leads us beside quiet waters, he restores our soul. He guides us in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil, for you are with us; your rod and your staff, they comfort us. You prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies. You anoint our head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow us all the days of our life, and we will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

His Love

'"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. " -Romans 5:3-5

Lost control

On the way home. 2AM, at 290 to Beltway 8 ramp.

Lost control entering Beltway 8 on ramp, thank you for protecting me God.

Sometime, cups are filled with bitter water, but still this is Your will, it will be all good. You are my good shepherd, you will make me lie down in green pasture and lead me besides quiet stream, and You restore my soul. You will guide me in path of righteousness, for you name's sake. Even through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.

Take you back

Take you back
-Jeremy Camp

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Tho my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds
Forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
And I know your response will always be

I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

I can only speak with a graceful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back
Even when the pain is coming through
You take me back

My Desire

My Desire
-Jeremy Camp

You want to be real
You want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the King
You want to be whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use

Nothing Else I Need
-Jeremy Camp

When I think of all I've seen
Nothing compares to what you give
And to drink of what you bring
You quench the thirst for me to live
I am satisfied by what tenderness you've shown to me
And I empty all that I am

And you fill my life
You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me
And there's nothing else I need anymore

I have tasted
And I know this fire birthed inside will only grow
And I've sought all that this world tried to offer me
And it lead me to your feet
And I empty all that I am

And you fill my life
You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me
And there's nothing else I need anymore

I will lay down all my needs and you will come and make them new
To make you my only desire, my desire
And you fill my life
You're everything to me

And you fill my life
You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me
And there's nothing else I need anymore

There's nothing else I need...

Letter of Encouragement

Huan,

Thanks for following God into this step and letting us know what has come of it. I know I speak for many of those reading this email when I remind you that your faith has encouraged us all. More importantly, your life including your recent actions pleased God.

When you and I talked on the phone before your meeting, I reminded you that you have done what you were supposed to do: be a seeker of God in your everyday life with Scripture and prayer; seek counsel from godly men; examine your heart and the circumstances. The time had come to leave the trench, and you did it like the men before you. Well done, Huan.

God would have us remember that those who leave the trenches may be wounded, but they'll never die. Men who suffer in Christ go on to glory, and our Father rewards them. Those who stay in the trenches may never receive wounds, but the trench will be their grave as COWARDICE slowly buries them alive.

I write in this way because everyone reading this letter has treated the recent proposals with seriousness. Now we should all acknowledge the glory found in obeying God. You, and others had the heart of men to climb out of the trench and face life. Each man had to find his own nerve to fight, and each of you found it.

"Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation." ISAIAH 12:2

In Christ,

-Kelly

Keep Walking

“Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face.
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace.
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me.”

I was once almost married to someone, God called me and told me Huan you were meant to be swim in a vast ocean, not in a muddy pound, follow me and I will lead you to the ocean.” I said “Here I am God, I will walk with you.” As I walk with God to the ocean, all I can see is nothing but endless desert, then I saw glimpse of ocean in distance, I walk to it and found it is just a mirage, I am still surrounded by the desert.

I cry out to God, where is this ocean, I do not see? Why does all those wicked man are swimming in their muddy pounds, and here I am walking in the desert, I have followed you, offered myself as living sacrifice to you as best as I can, did not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, I wanted to test and approve your will, your good pleasing and perfect will. Now you have spoken, it is so hard to swallow. For You alone God will judge this world, you will give righteous man what he deserves, and you will punish the wicked and give them what he deserves, for you are God almighty, the God of righteousness, the God of justice. I will walk with you, because of this broken road prepares Your will for me.

Walk by Faith

Walk By Faith
Artist(Band):Jeremy Camp

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, ya

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace

Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)
Well hallelujah, hallelu
(I will walk by faith)

I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith

It is done.

It is done. Lord Jesus Christ, I have offered my body as living sacrifice as best as I can, I have not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, and I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind, now let me test and approve what your will is, your good, pleasing and perfect will!

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Roman 12:1-2

Seek Ye First

Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God

Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness,
And all these things shall be added unto you,
Allelu, alleluia.

Man shall not live by bread alone,
But by every word
That proceeds from the mouth of God,
Allelu, alleluia.

Ask, and it shall be given unto you.
Seek, and ye shall find.
Knock, and the door shall be opened unto you.
Allelu, alleluia.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness,
And all these things shall be added unto you,
Allelu, alleluia.

Nothing Else I Need

Nothing Else I Need
by Jeremy Camp
Album : Restored

When I think of all I've seen
Nothing compares to what you give
And to drink of what you bring
You quench the thirst for me to live
I am satisfied by what tenderness you've shown to me
and I empty all that I am and you fill my life

You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me and
There's nothing else I need anymore

I have tasted and I know this fire birthed
Inside will only grow and I've sought all that
This world tried to offer me and it lead me
To your feet and I empty all that I am
And you fill my life you're everything to me

There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me and
There's nothing else I need anymore

I will lay down all my needs and you will
Come and make them new
To make you my only desire my desire

And you fill my life you're everything to me
And you fill my life you're everything to me

There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me and
There's nothing else I need anymore
There's nothing else I need…

Reminder

Suprise myself, how fast I forget, how easily I get swepted away.
I am sorry Lord Jesus, I will look straight ahead, fix my gazes directly before me, make level paths for my feet and take only ways that are firm.

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus"

A Beautiful New Day in USA.