Thanksgiving Reflections

This year has brought me great understanding in God, and great revelation in God’s plan for me in the future. I feel like there is three things He have been teaching me, Love, Faith and Suffering.

First, He started with Love in the summer, He brought Matthew 22:37-40 to me when summer just started, I was back home working and I was suddenly surround by non-Christian, I wanted to do something, I wanted to change them but I had no idea how.

“Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

He taught me Huan just let it go, it is my work to change their hearts, break their prides, and renew their hearts. I am the savior, I am the redeemer and the healer, not you. I just want to you love Me with all you got, love these people around you like you self, and I’ll do the rest. I saw with my own eyes how my father grows closer in God, how my brothers grow strong in their conviction, how my co-workers ask me where to start to read the bible, and how someone gives their heart to Christ. I saw with my own eyes how Lord Jesus Christ did His business, how His words come to life, and all I did was just simply loved them as best as I could.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” –John 13:34-35

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” -1 Corinthians 13:1-7

Second, He showed me the meaning Faith. Starting last semester, when I lost my RA job during the school year, when my grades is terrible from my own mistakes, I thought to myself, how I am suppose to support my self, how I am suppose to fulfill the vision He give me, to be a petroleum engineer be send over seas to share His name and to advance His kingdom? He then showed me these verses.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:33-34

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Roman 12:1-2

That I need not to worry, about how all those thing will work out, all I need to do is seek His kingdom in my studies, to understand His design in petroleum engineering, seek His righteousness in my walk with Him, I need to offer my body as living sacrifice to Him pure and holy, not want what/desire this world want/desire, but want and desire what is of God. Only then I can be able to test and approve what God’s will.

Summer started, I stared my internship, after talking to various new hires at the company, I found out this company have never hired anyone with below 3.0 GPA, and I have 2.8. I was again worried and frustrated, how all this suppose to work out. Than He showed me these verses during summer.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” –Proverbs 4:25-27

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see..”-Hebrew 11:1

That I need not worry about how I need to get my boss to like me, I just need to love them as Christ loved me, I just need to do the best as I can of my job that is set before me, and certain and sure that what God will give me what I needed.

This October I got a call from Kerr-McGee, the company I worked for in the summer, that they have an offer for me after graduation in Houston, before the people with much much higher grades, and the compensation was so much, it was much much more then what I needed, or what I deserve. Again I saw with my own eyes how His words come to life, how He provided for thing I don’t deserve.

Third, He teached me about suffering, started at beginning of this year. In February, I lost my RA job at the university, I was fired by my Hall Coordinator for negligence in my job, I was fired for not taking my walkie talkie to the bathroom while giving my student hair cut, for late to my on-call duty because of my exam took longer then expected, etc … I felt extremely unfair, my students wanted to write protest letters to the higher ups, but I know this is God’s will, I did do all those thing I was accused of, and I need to respect authorities, no matter how unfair I might fell.

Then with in two weeks, I broke up with my fiancés that I was engaged to, I realized we had made idols of each-other, that God wanted me to seek Him first, love Him with all my heart all my soul and all my strength, that I was not ready, I was still immature in my walk, how can I lead her, and my future is still uncertain, how can I rescue her? It was so hard, I did not want to do that at all, but again I know this is God’s will, that this is for the best. I will walk this broken road because it prepares Your will for me.

Two week ago I rememorized Psalm 23,
“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Now just this past week, on Tuesday night after my test, I was driving back home from Austin on 290, I set my cruise control at 80mph. 2AM finally, I arrived in Houston I was very tired, I turned on the 290 ramp to get on Beltway 8 to go home, just as I got on the ramp I realized my cruise control is still on and this is way too fast for this ramp, I stump on the breaks, but it was already too late, my back tires broke loose started to slide toward left at 80mph, I corrected to the right try to stabilize, but the whole back end traction have broken loose, I end up sliding side ways on the 84 ft high ramp, my front driver side crashed into the ramp wall while sliding side ways, finally while slide sideways on the ramp, back end of my car crashed into the ramp wall, and my car come to a rest sitting sideways on the 84 ft high ramp. Later a friend ask what did you think about while all this is happening, I remember that I felt calm, in my head I thought, is this the valley of the shadow of death? I will not fear, for You are with me. And thank you God that I am not hurt, that you protected me while sliding sideways 80mph on 84 ft high ramp and that my car is still repairable, Thank you Lord Jesus.
(Picture http://huanhuan.blogspot.com/2004/11/lost-control.html )

God again brought a verse for this.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. " -Romans 5:3-5

Thank you for you Love Lord Jesus for this year, its been a wild ride, but man oh man, life is exciting living in the Lord, I can’t wait what you will do next. Sometimes, it seems like winter, leafs are falling off, all seems dying, everything is not happening like how we wanted, but spring is coming, all will be green again, this hope does not disappoint us, God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. The LORD is our shepherd, we shall not be in want. He makes us lie down in green pastures, he leads us beside quiet waters, he restores our soul. He guides us in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil, for you are with us; your rod and your staff, they comfort us. You prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies. You anoint our head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow us all the days of our life, and we will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.