huan's blog - steps toward heaven

iPhone 3G Hunt

2008-07-12T20:15:00.013-06:00

July 11th, iPhone 3G lunches all over the world, including the US. After about one year of using the original iPhone, I decided that I want to upgrade to the latest model, iPhone has been the most amazing phone I ever used, I use it to take notes at meetings, write email, check facebook replys, schedule events, alarm clock, upload photos, and even as a evangelism tool. Its great to be able to have keyword look up for the whole Bible, it totally defeat those "oh I think Bible says this..." moments. What I like it the most is probabley the web browser, it strike a perfect balance to bring a webpage that is designed to be view on a 15" monitor to be viewed perfectly on a 3.5" phone.

Just happens about 6 days before the new model lunch, as I was getting out of my car, I hear thud.... I look down on the groud, there was my old trusty I phone that traveled me to East Texas, Italy, and all over the place in China. I picked it up, the screen had a spider web crack all over the top edge, amazingly it still works, I can still read the screen below the glass. What a timing. I thought.

So on July 11th, as the new iPhone 3G is been lunched all over the world, I hear reports of people camping out before the Apple store in order to get one, those crazy cult of Apple people. So I decided before work, I'll drop by the ATT store at a shady part of town, it sure can't be that hard to get one at ATT store, they have about 100 store all over the city of Houston. Apple only has about 4 store in Houston.

So I showed up there at 7:49.

And to my suprise.... There was a line.... About 30 people....

ATT is letting 6 people in the store a time, while the rest wait... and wait...

So I waitting about 1 hour, then I got in, 16GB Black iPhone 3G is soldout...

Then they didn't give back my driver license, I realized that when I almost to my office in the Woodlands, had to drive back to get it, then a cop pull me over to give me a ticket for not having a front license plate.... sigh... this is not going good. At lunch I went over to the Woodlands mall, to check out the Apple Store, and here is what I saw...

The line stretched half way across the mall...

So I went back to the office, and after work I went back to the mall, finally line had been reduced to where the end of the line, you can actually see the Apple Store...

I got in line, after two hour of wait, at about 7PM. I finally got to the Apple store, this totally feel like the line at the traffic ticket court house.

Finally, here is the new iPhone 3G.

Its has a much faster internet access, has a GPS that can pick up signal with in seconds, wow! Then it can track where I went on google maps. I really like the black back, it made the phone's color scheme look much more uniform then before.

So far so good, but is it worth 4 hour of my PTO/Vacation time? Not sure yet.

All I Can Say

2008-04-03T06:06:00.001-06:00

All I Can Say
-David Crodwer Band

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

And didn't You see me cry'n?
And didn't You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cry'n too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

He is Love!

2008-04-02T12:30:00.012-06:00

He is Love!
-David Crowder Band

This is the place I've known
Here in the arms of one who loves
Deeper than anyone
His are the hands I've grown to trust

And this is the place I've known
Here in the arms of one who loves
Farther than I could run
His are the hands I've grown to trust
And I believe...

His are the hands that spread the sky
And His is the love that gives me life
And His are the broken, the needy ones
And He is the love

---------------------------------------------
Wayne Talbert passed away, he and his wife, came to China in 87 thru work, they opened their home to my family, shared Christ with us, and helped my mom to come to America, and thru them my mom, me and later my father all came to know the Lord.

It is really hard to for me to loose him, I lost my mom in HS and my father is still a new Christian, he means alot to me. This song above have been reminding me who my real Father is.
-Huan

Give me Jesus!

2008-01-04T15:09:00.000-06:00

Give me Jesus

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus

When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus

When I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus

Better is 1 DAY in Your Court then 1000s else where!

2007-12-17T06:36:00.000-06:00

How lovely is
Your dwelling place
Oh Lord Almighty,
For my soul longs
And even faints
For You
Oh, here my heart
Is satisfied (is satisfied)
Within Your presence
I sing beneath
The shadow of
Your wings

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
(Than thousands elsewhere)

One thing I ask,
And I would seek,
To see Your beauty
To find You in
The place Your glory dwells
(One thing I ask)
One thing I ask
And I would seek,
To see Your beauty
To find You in
The place Your glory dwells

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
(Better is one day)
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

(My heart and flesh cry out)
My heart and flesh cry out
For You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
I will draw near to You
To You

Better is one day
Better is one day
Better is one day
Than thousands elsewhere
(2x)
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
(4X)
Yeah, than thousands elsewhere (Yeah)
Oh, than thousands elsewhere

Bad Dream?

2007-11-23T22:32:00.000-06:00

Dreaming

Dreaming, we all have dreams, dreams of one day have a family, one day have a home, one day go work for so and so company... But for us who are believers in Jesus do we dream about God? Do we dream about where God is taking us, how God want to use us, what kind of man or women God want us to mary to bring Glory to Himself? I don’t dream about God like how I used to.

When I was first saved (2003), God given me a very clear dreams about how I can bring glory to Jesus. I remember my pastor Mark Hagen sharing us about George Whitfield, on how he would share open air about the cross of Jesus, without mic in front of thousands, how he would preach multiple times a day, even on his honey moon, he would still share at least once, on the last days of his life, he was so sick after sharing some one had help him to get on his horse, the day he died he still shared the grace of Jesus on the cross. I remember hearing stories of Charles Wesley, how he and his brothers in Christ would rode horses all across America going from towns to towns to share about the Cross of Jesus.

My Dreams

I remember there was an fire burning me up inside, while I was hearing those stories of weak man in the hands of the Great God, I remember pleading to Jesus, “Please use me like that Jesus! Let me just to be burned up for you Jesus!”

I started to have dreams on how God can use me to share the Good News of Jesus on that Cross, I want to work for an oil company that would send me out around the world, to the places people who have never heard or seen the love of Jesus, so I can share and show them the love of Jesus. I want to be married to a women who is just as sold out as me, who will come along side of me, who is everything that I am not, who’s strength is my weakness, and my strength is her weakness, so together we can reach this world for Christ in the way that we can never able by our selves. We would be together in a foreign nation on a mission, we each would build friendship through the love of Jesus with people we meet, we would invite our friends to our home to love them like Jesus, to share life with them, and to share this great God who died on the Cross for the sin of the whole world and to give life and freedom to who those who are enslave to sin. That together me and my wife would go and make disciple of all nations, and share the abound life Jesus has showed us.

The Great Commission
Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." -Matthew 28:16:20

What Happened

Since those days, its been about 4 years (2007), life continued to unravel, time flow by like snap of finger, I graduated from University, God given me an awesome job with an excellent oil company, I got to travel with work but to East Texas, Louisiana and South Texas. I dated girls and tried to date girls, who I thought had fire burning inside for Jesus, some of the relationships worked but I quickly realized they didn’t have that passion and desire to serve Jesus, and those who really seems to have a passion for Jesus nothing seems to worked out. I was teaching bible study on sunday morning with bunch of well off 13 year old kids from suburban Houston. I started to look at my dreams, did I dream them wrong? Was my dream too ambitious, was my dream too crazy, was my dream unrealistic...

The Venable Story

Recently on a trip to Florida to visit my best friend Richard Venable, and his beautiful wife Hannah. Me and Richard was reminiscent the old days in University of Texas, at that little dorm called Simkins, how we dreamed those crazy dreams. He had dream about Marrying Hannah, at that time Hannah told him “No, I never will have romantic feels about you.”, how Richard dreamed working for an video game company to make video games and impact people who make video games for Jesus with a 2.2 GPA.

How I dreamed to work for an well respected international oil company to be send out all around the world to share Jesus, with a 2.7 GPA. How absurd, how crazy, how ambitious, how unrealistic was our dreams!?!? And now (2007), after two year of rejection Richard and Hannah is married, how despite of his low grades Richard is working for EA the world largest video game company, his name is already in the credits of Madden 2006, 2007, and now he and his wife Hannah is hosting a weekly fellowship time at their home on sunday nights. How absurd, How crazy, How ambitious, How unrealistic is our God!

God’s Dreams Will Not DIE!

After that trip visiting the Venables in Florida, I started to careful examine my dreams once again, I see that yes my company has not send me all around this earth, but they are providing me a generous salary, a generous vacation schedule so I can go to place like China, Cuba, and Italy to share the gospel of Jesus this past two years without the need to raise support, I just pray and God told me to go, I pick up my bags and I went, I see how God used me to bring honor, glory and praise to Jesus, how God used me to change peoples life, to love them with the love Jesus has shown me! I realized God wasn’t slow, He was fulfilling my dreams about Him already.

I realized my dream to have a Godly wife to be my helper in doing God’s work is not absurd, in fact that is the promise God promised to the first man Adam.

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." - Gen 2:15-18

I can not settle for anything less.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.- Proverb 31: 10-11, 29-30

Even thru nothing have seems to worked out yet, but I can not give up, I can not give up dreaming about God, I can not give up dreaming about serving God together with a Godly women, a wife of nobel character! There is nothing wrong with desiring that type of women, I am suppose to be attracted to that type of women, who will be my helper doing the work God has laid out for me as He promised Adam. I will not give up dreaming dreams about bring honor, glory and praise to my Savior Jesus who died on that Cross for me to give me a new life!

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14

I will stand for you Jesus!

2007-11-04T11:56:00.000-06:00

The Stand
Hillsong United

You stood before creation
Forever within Your hand
You spoke all life into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
And what could I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

How Deep The Father's Love For Us

2007-10-27T11:56:00.000-06:00

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)

Worlds Apart

2007-09-24T20:32:00.000-06:00

Havana Cuba, July 2007

Worlds Apart
Band: Jars Of Clay

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
To give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loved
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice?
Oh, grip the spear and watch the blood and the water flow

(To love You)
Take my world apart
(To need You)
I am on my knees
(To love You)
Take my world apart
(To need You)
Broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
'Cause what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

And I pray
(To love You)
Take my world apart
(To need You)
I am on my knees
(To love You)
Take my world apart
(To need You)
Broken on my knees
On my knees
(Bridge)

I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nail that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
Battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain,
And wash my feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
My sin-soaked heart - make it yours
Take my world all apart,
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and blow away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nail that still remains
Steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart
Take my world apart
And I pray, and I pray, and I pray
Take my world apart
Worlds apart

Make Me OK

2007-09-05T10:40:00.000-06:00

Make Me OK
by: One Hundred Hours

When I'm with You, I can't pretend
If this is the valley, then where is the end?
Is there still a chance that I have a prayer?
Something inside me knows You're there

What will You do, what will You say?
How will You make me okay?
I just don't know, I cannot see
Help me trust in Your great love for me

If You're at my door, and You hold the key
Please put back together these pieces of me
For I am so blind, but I want to see
My faith is so tired, but I want to believe

What will You do, what will You say?
How will You make me okay?
I just don't know, I cannot see
Help me trust in Your great love for me

Help me trust in Your great love for me...

Everything Glorious

2007-08-13T20:42:00.000-06:00

Everthing Glorious
-David Crowder Band

The day is brighter here with You
The night is lighter than it's hue
Would lead me to believe
Which leads me to believe

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory
You are glorious You are glorious
From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious
Which leads me to believe
why I can believe that

You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious.
You are glorious. You are glorious.

You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

Seeking First

2007-05-11T15:41:00.000-06:00

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:33-34

By: Oswald Chambers

As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and luxurious prospects will open up before you, and these things are yours by right; but if you are living the life of faith you will exercise your right to waive your rights, and let God choose for you. God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the right and proper thing to consider if you were not living a life of faith; but if you are, you will joyfully waive your right and leave God to choose for you. This is the discipline by means of which the natural is transformed into the spiritual by obedience to the voice of God.

Whenever right is made the guidance in the life, it will blunt the spiritual insight. The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best. It would seem the wisest thing in the world for Abraham to choose, it was his right, and the people around would consider him a fool for not choosing. Many of us do not go on spiritually because we prefer to choose what is right instead of relying on God to choose for us. We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eye on God. Walk before Me. ''

Impact of Christian Life

2007-04-22T09:11:00.001-06:00

The shootings in Virginia Tech early in the week, 33 student dead, really made me stop and think. I stopped and start to listen what does God want to speak to me through this horrible event.

The first thing come to my mind is: how can some one do something like that. The gun man was Asian that really grabbed attention, I am Asian, and I went to school here in the US, I started to wonder, how can some one like me do something so terrible. To me it seems like his heart is full of hatred and rage, that completely overwhelmed any bit of humanity in him. How can someone's heart be so full of hatred and anger, it has must been eaten up slowly by something or event until there is nothing good left at all.

As I dig more, I found few words from his letter to NBC that give me chill down my spine.

"You pick out the Weak and the Defenseless and turbo-(expletive deleted) us for your own pleasure and put on faces of devout Christians in front of your parents and strangers," it read. "You drink your vodka, share needles and go on your escapades on Saturday night and go to church on Sunday morning." He added: "You have to search high and low for the Weak and the Defenseless to taunt and terrorize on Monday."

His family are Christians go to church regularly and I am sure he has meet plenty of Christians. What did he see of the Christians, hypocrite, that is what he seems to say. In fact what he seems to say is that he saw no difference between Christians and the people of the world, not only so, but he seems to say that Christians were worse then the people of the world, they were the ones seems to hurt him the most. But mostly importantly is this how it should be?

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
-Matthew 5:15-16

Is the Cho's words, the word of praise for God because our good lives? No, in fact it is the hypocrisy of the Christians he saw over the years that eaten him up from the inside. So what does bible say about the hypocrites?

23"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
25"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
-Matthew 23:23-27

Oh, I only wish that if those Christian Cho meet were truly living for God, not only with their mouth but with action and deeds, radiating with Christ love, maybe, just maybe this week at Virginia Tech it could have been another week in April before the finals. How we live our life not only have external impact on our life, but also others as well.

The fact of this week is that, 33 people is dead, and there are extra people screaming and burning in hell for the rest of the eternity as we speak.

14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

"But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
-James 2:14-19

All because

2007-04-21T10:52:00.000-06:00

All because
-Tree63

I want to set the story straight. It's time to tell the truth
I never could have come so far. If it were not for You

You covered up my sin. You covered up my silence
You covered up my shame. You made me new again

It's all because of You...

They tell me to abandon You. To make my dreams come true
So what am I supposed to do? I only dream of You

You covered up my sin. You covered up my silence
You covered up my shame. I am new again

How Did I Sleep?

2007-02-25T21:39:00.000-06:00

How Did I Sleep?
-by TREE63

With eyes so blind
How did I see a single thing?
I missed the scenery
Change in front of me

And as for these hands
Well they've got a lot to answer for
They built me a house of sand
On someone else's land

Deep down I knew I was lost
But I kept my fingers crossed
As if that would somehow rescue me

How did I sleep?
How did I sleep?
How did I sleep without You?
Without You

Tired all the time
But there is no rest for the wicked
Under the covers I pretended not to cry

And there You were:
Magnified by the tears
Reaching Your hands to me
Waiting patiently

I never dared to dream
Of the morning my eyes have seen
Awake for the first time: rise and shine

How did I ever try?
How did I sleep?

Rise and Shine; awake for the first time

Song of my heart

2007-02-08T22:35:00.000-06:00

Thank You for Healing Me
by - Matt Redman

The disease of my soul was spreading,
Eating me up on the inside,
Keeping my heart from your new life.
And i see now where I was headed
For there is no cure that can save us,
Outside of Your mercy Lord Jesus.

Yes, You stepped in with Your power to save,
Let forgiveness reign,
Worked a miracle within.

Thank you for healing me;
I was dying beneath my shame
But You brought me to life again, and I will sing:
Thank you for freeing me
I was dead to the truth of You,
But my healing was in Your wounds, and now I sing:
Thank you for healing me.

Though outwardly I may waste away,
On the inside I´ll be more alive every day.
As I walk through times of pain and grief
There´s a deeper truth inside of me...
You have placed Your life inside of me.

I´m alive, I´m alive.
I´m alive, I´m alive in You.
Thankyou for healing me.

Bible reference: Matthew 3:15, Mark 2:17, Isaiah 53:5, 1 Peter 2:2

Sacrifice

2007-01-26T11:51:00.001-06:00

Sacrifice by TREE63

Before your people worshipped you
You said that something had to die
And as they brought their sacrifice you heard their cries

Before your children could come home
You said that something had to die
And as you brought your sacrifice we heard you cry

You know what it's like to give it up
You know how how it feels to let it go
You know what it's like to take it forget it forsake it
To raise your head and cry

It's all for you (Father) It's all for you
I live for you (Father) I die for you

I know that you can hear my voice
Because your servant paid the price
But there is silence in my mouth and I can't cry

So as I come to worship you
I know that something has to die
And as I bring my sacrifice just let it die

You know what it's like against your skin
You know how it feels beneath your hands
You know how it is to carry so rough and heavy
And underneath to cry...

Old Times

2007-01-23T22:15:00.000-06:00

Just like Old Times.

Good friends.

2007-01-13T17:19:00.001-06:00

We are not part of the clan.

China

2006-12-12T18:51:00.000-06:00

Anadarko is keeping China!

Moblog via Picoblogger

Interesting

2006-12-12T18:40:00.000-06:00

Following God is hard!

Moblog via Picoblogger

Blessings

2006-11-24T21:23:00.000-06:00

I thank God for my little sister.

Good time in Oklahoma

2006-11-20T10:29:00.000-06:00

Moblog via Picoblogger

Morning

2006-11-02T11:04:00.000-06:00

In front tower

Moblog via Picoblogger

Fear of man.

2006-10-02T08:16:00.000-06:00

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.”- Proverbs 29:25

A glorious light beyond all compare

2006-08-07T20:59:00.000-06:00

You Never Let Go
-Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Meaning of Huan

2006-08-03T07:19:00.000-06:00

In the intimate circle of Friendlies, Huanhuan is the big brother. He is a child of fire, symbolizing the Olympic Flame and the passion of sport--and passion is the blessing he bestows.

Huanhuan stands in the center of Friendlies as the core embodiment of the Olympic spirit. And while he inspires all with the passion to run faster, jump higher and be stronger, he is also open and inviting. Wherever the light of Huanhuan shines, the inviting warmth of Beijing 2008--and the wishful blessings of the Chinese people--can be felt. The firery designs of his head ornament are drawn from the famed Dunhuang murals--with just a touch of China's traditional lucky designs.

Huanhuan is outgoing and enthusiastic. He excels at all the ball games and represents the red Olympic ring.

My first name is Huan, it is the same Chinese character as the HuanHuan in the Chinese 2008 Olympic person thing. The character mean what all of the above thing about the Olympic Huanhuan. But except the fire that is in me is the Ever Lasting Consuming Fire, not the man made fire that lits every 4 years.

Back to Beijing, don't want to come home.

2006-07-29T10:55:00.000-06:00

Day 7, we visited a few froster homes, then we headed back to Beijing.
Day 8, we did some more tour of Beijing, it was fun watching how the group interacted with the Chinese tourist in Tian An Men Square, everyone wanted to take pictures with the pretty girls. And how the sellers all flocked to the group trying to sell Mao watches, post cards. As the sellers flocking to the group, I felt the Spirit telling me, Huan give them bible, I was like umm we are in Tian An Men Square the most secure/watched/listened place in China. As we walked around Tian An Men the Spirit’s prompt grow, and grow.
As we headed back to the bus, the sellers followed us, we parked about 1 block away from Tian An Men square in front of a grand government building. As we got to the bus, I jumped on the bus, and brought 3 chinese bibles I have, I handed them to the sellers, told them I have a free gift for them. Then I went back to bus to get more, I got about 10 more, then by the time I got to the bus exit, there was 10 people with their hands in the air fighting with each other’s hands, shouting “Give me some! I want one! I want give it to my friend!” It was the same picture I seen in Africa when humanitarian aids passing out food to the starving people. I quickly given all those out, then I went back to get more, there was even a bigger crowd gathered there all fighting and shouting for a copy of bible. I felt this is the perfect picture of China, just as Jesus said the harvest is ripen and workers are few.
Through out this trip I really begin to fell God is speaking to me about China specifically, I always know that I want to go international, go share God’s words with people who have never heard Salvation. This trip I really feel that God is speaking to me about China, there is a reason why He brought me to USA from China, and meet his Son Jesus is the USA. Why I have the story I have; Chinese connect with my life, they understand. As I shared gospel loved people and shared my story, I felt so good, I felt this is what I suppose to do, you know that felling when God is using you, it just fell so right, I felt this way this trip the whole way.
God was continue to teach me about obeying the greatest commandment, love God with all my heart mind and soul, and love His creation. I fell most of my time my love is conditional, I would only love them if they come to my program, come to my church, it is all about me. But that is not how Jesus loved, Jesus loved with out expecting anything in return, I almost sort of trying to manipulate people with my love, using my love to manipulate people into coming to know God, that is not who God works. My love almost always expected something in return, where Jesus’s love was not that way, Jesus want me to love people just for sake of loving, not expecting anything in return, and allow Him to move people’s heart.

China Mission Visiting Orphanages 3

2006-07-29T10:40:00.000-06:00

Day 6 to 7, we visited Orphanages in Urumqi, there we got meet some the communist officials running the orphanages, seeing how Buckner’s love has earned the trust of even the tough communist hard-liner. I got to hear the stories when Buckner first came to Urumqi, the official in the orphanage didn’t let them meet with Children at all, they were very suspicious, so Buckner and Tallowood people, just spend time pulling weeds. Little by little, trust was
Also through out this week, me and Liz got to talk to our tour guide Sunny, Sunny shared with us that her grandmother was a Christian, who often singed worship songs to her when she was a little girl, also her English teacher in the university was a christian, she often got to share with her about Jesus and Christianity. We got share with her what it means to be a christian, she asked for me to share with her my story, I got share with her my testimony and how to have a relationship with God. We felt God is just going after her all these years, she is so close. At end of our journey she shared with Jerome, I see so much love in you all, how can I have what you have? Please pray for her.
One thing God has been teaching me is that how wasteful I am at managing his resources, how much He was given us, yet I spend on such stupid stuff, $600 digital camera, where $450 can support an orphanage’s needs almost a year. God bless us so we can bless others primarily, sure God want us to enjoy His gift as well, but that is not main reason why God bless us.

China Mission Visiting Orphanages 2

2006-07-29T10:21:00.000-06:00

Day 5, we came to an orphanage in Shi He Zi, 2 hour away from Urumqi, this orphanage had more kids about 20 or so kids. We took them to a park to play, on the way there, I got hangout with a 12 year boy, we got to talking he told me about his family, that his father was an alcoholic , who beaten his mother and him, finally his mother had enough and left with his sister. One day in the winter, that was really cold, he woke up heard his father using axe cutting stuff outside, he came out not know his father is still drunken, he father used the axe hit the boy on his arm, luckily the thick layer of winter cloth saved his arm. He run home and closed the door, and called the police, while his father using axe beating on the door. Police came and arrested his father, he was homeless, a friend of his father send him to the orphanage. As when I was listening to his story, I told him about my story, he keep saying to me, “Your life is just like mine”. I looked at him, I saw a picture of myself 11 years ago.
I thought to myself, all of us were orphans in God’s eyes, we all have sinned and turned our hearts away from the Lord, how God so faithfully pursued after us, to bring us to his kingdom, as sons and daughters of the living God.
In the evening of day 5, we had dinner at a hot pot restaurant, Sunny our translator fund out one of the waiter in our suit was also a Christian, he has been following God for 6 years. In that 6 years, he meet a Christian from California, who was in Urumqi sharing gospel, two day before we meet him, that man just left and went back to California, and he was so sad that the man left. As our conversation progressed we asked him if he was interested in bibles, we had tons of Chinese bibles, he was really excited, we give him about 20 Chinese bibles, and he was so joyful, that he told us that God really used us to lift his spirit.

China Mission Visiting Orphanages 1

2006-07-29T09:50:00.000-06:00

Day 4, we visited an orphanage in Chang Ji a little town outside of Urumqi, that is literally middle of no where in middle of farm field, there we meet 9 children, 2 boys and 7 girls. I got to play soccer and Ping-Pong with the boys, and I looked at the 2 boy. One was 14, the other one was 12, I saw my self in them, as a little boy before I came to America. We spend most of our time our doors playing with the kids. We provided some material need, 2 water heaters, pillows for the kids, and a musical instrument for one of the kids who need an musical instrument inorder to continue her education as musical teacher.

China Mission 3rd Day - Church, fellowship with Chinese Christians

2006-07-23T18:20:00.000-06:00

One of 17 Churches in Urumqi, totalling 15000 believers.

Paster Huang, 86 years old. Left everything behid, came to Urumqi in 1949. Started Church in Urumqi, in 1949 Urumqi had less than 100 christians.

Paster Huang, and his daughter 60 year old, when he arrived in Urumqi in 1949, his daughter was 3 year old. Picture is of Paster Huang's family in 1958. He says, when he left his home to come to Urumqi, he had full head of black hair, now its all gray.

Standing right next God's servent, who has given up everything in his life, who has truely denied him self, and carried cross followed after God for 60 or so years, endured prosecution for Christ sake. All that God has used him to do, 100 christians in Urumqi in 1949, with 50 years of presecution now there are 15000 Christians, 17 churches in Urumqi. I told him I admired his faith, Paster Huang, says "All these years, has God provided for me? Food to eat and cloth to wear? Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all that I needed has given to me!"

Leaving.

This morning we visiting the chinese church in Urumuqi. The group has been coming to this church past 3 times in 6 years, during every visit they noticed that the fellowship has grown, but they have never got chance to visit with the christian there.
The service stared in 11:30 AM, we arrived a little late, the teacher that morning is a lady, you should see her passion, man she was just preaching it, about Romans 4:1-25. Talking about story of Abraham and how it apply to life. After the service, somehow we got to talk to the teacher that morning, we shared with her about what we are doing this trip. She was excited to find out we are Christians, and we are here to serve the Living God. We asked if we could visit with the senior pastor at the church, they were very excited, they took us to 7th floor meeting room, there we meet the two senior pastor, pastor Huang did most of the talking, he shared with us his story, how he came to Christ in 1941 when he was 21 year old. The very next year when he was 22, he attended the Northwestern Seminary in Shang Xi, who was run by Hudson Taylor’s grandson. In 1949, right before the communist took control of China, he got his calling to go to Urumqi, the remote western China to share God’s love! He said good bye to his father, he said “Dad sorry that I might not able to take care of you in the future, I might not have enrough to care for you.” He left all he had to his brother so his brother could help care for his father. Pastor Huang, took his wife and his 3 year old daughter to Urumqi in 1949, when he arrived in Urumuqi there was only 100 christian there, he join with other pastor who have arrived in Urumqi 4 years prior started Church there. Since 1949 they had endured prosecution, many of the leaders for Christ sake had endure beating harsh treament, labor camp, some entered labor camp full head of blank hair, some never returned, some when they left the camp, they left with full head of gray hair. Pastor Huang him self was force to be in labor camp for 6 years.
Today in Urumqi, there are 15000 christian, pastor Huang had planted 17 churches around the City, many of leaders have got to start churches around other part of China, and some became professors of Seminaries in China.
One thing to read those stories in the books, when you get start right next to the God’s faithful servant it is something else. After the meeting, I went to talk to Pastor Huang, I told him how much I admired his faith, a faith so strong to follow God no matter what it costed him. He told me “Look at me, has God not provided for me? Has not God always provided food for me and cloth for me. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all that I needed God has given to me.” All of the sudden those precious verse I had been holding on had a much stronger and deeper meaning.

China Mission 2nd Day - Great Wall Conqured, Arrived at Urumqi

2006-07-22T12:41:00.000-06:00

Great Wall, last time when I was here I were 6 year old. It seemed alot longer and bigger.

The steps are steep..... This is the ultimate stair master program.

The last tower at end of this section of the Great Wall.

Idol worshipping, there are money dropped at foot of the idol for good luck and protection.

Starting this trip I had a idea of what mission trip should look like, but as the trip progressed, we were staying at plush hotels, have our own huge bus to just taking 18 people around. Been taken to tourist traps, and eating Americanized Chinese food, I felt disappointed, I felt what am I doing here, why I am taking my precious vacation time off for this, this suppose to be a mission trip, we are not mangling with the China, how can we relate to the Chinese if we are not will to go to the place they go, eat at the place they eat and stay at the place they stay.

I noticed as I keep thinking about those thoughts, my mood become very sour, God started to speak. I felt He was telling me, Huan it is not about you and your plans, I felt He was telling me I want you to serve and love your brothers and sisters in Christ, you are not God, it is not about if you did this and that then you can bring them to salvation, I felt He says, it is not about you at all, it is all about Me, I will bring them to salvation weather you are at plush hotel or at where Chinese stays, I am God I can do all things in all situations! I felt God telling me stop judging your brothers and sister with you, you are Chinese Huan, they are not, they are already so brave to just come here spend their time and resources to make room for me to use them, you can't judge them and expect them to be Chinese, they are not.

I felt God keep telling me, rejoice always, be a refreshment to your brother and sisters in Christ, left them up, not to bring them down, rejoice in My Power, and watch what I will do, and stop trying to be God in my world, it is not about you! But about me, love me and your brothers sisters and the people of this world, and watch What I will do!

After I heard that, I felt much better, I felt such a burden has been lifted, I had such a good time having fellowship with brother and sister the rest of the day, and trying to encouraging each other, remind them the gifts God has given them and how wonderfully God has made them to be!

In the evening 8PM, our flight left Beijing, we arrived Urumqi at 12:30 AM Sunday, got to hotel and into our rooms @ 1:30AM, now its 3AM, I think I need to sleep...

So good to know that God is in control, and He will be glorified on this earth, and it does not depend on me at ALL!

China Mission 1st Day - Bible Secured

2006-07-21T06:21:00.000-06:00

After 18 hour of flight, we finally arrived in Beijing, everyone sooooo soooooo tired, super jet lagged. Praise the Lord the contact in Beijing was able to help us to secure 80 Chinese Bibles, and 20 Chinese/English Bibles from this little church hidden in middle of a busy street, it is literally a tiny hole on the wall, if you don’t know where it is, you will never find it. We wasn’t able to buy 20 Chinese/English bible, it was very rare in Beijing, but after she found out where we were going and what we going to do with them, she let us brought all of her stock, all 20 of them. Praise the Lord!

On my taxi ride back to meet up with the group to have dinner, I just start talking to the Taxi driver, he shared with me the dissatisfaction of the communist government, how dis-illusioned he is with them. He told me when he was 20 year old, he was working in the state owned factory, he really believed in the government, how every morning he woke up he felt he was doing something to advance communism, he had a meaning and purpose, he worshipped the communist. Now he says, communist government has failed him, all the promises they promised never materialized, he realized the communist are human, they are all greedy, and corrupt, everyone of them; he lost his zeal in the communist, and that sense of purpose and meaning he once had, all he seeks after is just money and material things, but even that does not satisfy. I asked him, if he could go back to the old days, have meaning and purpose in life again, would he want it. He told me he really wanted, but he don’t believe that could happen. I told him how I have seek after things of this world and they never satisfied, and how when I was on the oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico, I started to read the bible and realized that, yes all man are evil, we have all fall short of glory of God, man’s nature is sin. And we all have a God shaped hole in our hearts, and it so big that nothing we have can fill that hole, only God can. By being close to God that is only when our life can have purpose and meaning. And then I arrived at the meal place, I give him a copy of Chinese bible we just, brought, he was so happy and excited that he helped me carry all of the bible out of car, and he thank me for the bible.
The whole time I was talking to this man, I felt spirit is telling me share who I am to him, I was almost scared, say to myself, no, he is just a stranger, I need to love him, and nothing more, but the spirit’s whisper grow louder and louder, I start to pray for this guy that God would bring opportunity and open his eyes, and opportunity just came up.
China really is a place so spiritually hungary, so thirsty, not like Americans who’s hearts are so calloused and hardened. Really this is a place that truely, the harvest is ripen and worker is few.

Fires Burn

2006-07-06T13:12:00.000-06:00

Fires Burn - Delirious

All around the world the fires burn,
They burn for you, for what is true.
And your bride across the earth is pushing through,
And we’re glorious when we mirror you.

Oh this world’s on fire, for you are our great desire.

Jesus, born to take us home,
And home is where the heart is.
Jesus, come and take us soon.
Your home is where my heart is.

All around the world the fires burn,
To light the way for your return,
We know one day you’ll split the sky in two,
And we will fly to be with you.

Revival Hymn

2006-07-05T13:13:00.000-06:00

God's purpose

2006-07-04T12:07:00.000-06:00

Consuming Fire

2006-06-20T15:25:00.000-06:00

Consuming Fire
Tim Hughes

There must be more than this
oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Chorus:
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have ur way
Lord have ur way
with us

Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

Unchangeble, unshakeble, unstoppable

2006-06-06T05:57:00.000-06:00

You Are God Alone
Phillips Craig & Dean -

You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

Chorus:
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You’re the only God
Whose power none can contend
You’re the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You’re the only God
Who’s worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that’s just the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That’s what You are

Not to us but You be the glory.

2006-06-02T20:26:00.000-06:00

I feel recently as summer started, and summer ministry start to get busy. I really feel Saten is agian temping me to make ministry my idol, temp me to be so busy with ministry that I don't even have time to be with my Lord. I also feel that I am having a hard time remembering it is not about my plans, but the Lord be the glory, to be a servant, to humble my self, really there is nothing good with in me at all, God does not need me at all. All I am is just a broken vessel, put together by the grace of God, glued together by the Holy Sprit, ready to pour out whatever is been put out into me. I can not lead anyone if my own walk with the Lord is not fresh and solid!

26Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Matthew 20:26-28

24I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
John 12:24-25

Wait for the Lord!

2006-05-29T10:56:00.000-06:00

1 Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
-Psalm 37

Good Pleasing & Perfect Will

2006-05-25T11:46:00.000-06:00

The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best.

God is good.

2006-05-01T09:31:00.000-06:00

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

Your Arm

2006-02-22T21:16:00.000-06:00

Your Arm
By the tree

When surrounded by my doubts
Here am I turning inside out
I remember my confidence
It comes from you
This I can depend on

My hope
It comes from you
My strength
Is found in you
When I'm lost
I come running to your arms
And I'm found
I'm found in you

Far beyond these thoughts I feel
Something greater I hold on to
It lifts me up to a higher place
To your arms I will fly away

And you hold me just a little longer
Till my fears subside
And take away the lonely pain
Till my tears run dry
You let me know forever more
Your arms are open wide for me

My hope
It comes from you
My strength
Is found in you

I Saw The Light

2006-02-11T17:13:00.000-06:00

I Saw The Light
David Crowder Band

I’ve wandered so aimless, life filled with sin.
I wouldn’t let my dear Savior in.
Then Jesus came like a stranger in the night.
Praise the Lord, I saw the light (Williams).
I saw the light, I saw the light.
No more darkness no more night.
Now I’m so happy,no sorrow in sight.
Praise the Lord, I saw the light (Williams).
I’ve walked in darkness, clouds covered me.
I had no idea where the way out could be.
Then came the sunrise and rolled back the night.
Praise the Lord, I saw the light (Cash).
Just like a blind man I wandered alone.
Worries and fears I claimed for my own.
Then, like a blind man who God gave back his sight, praise the Lord, I saw the light (Williams).
When death takes me down and I breath here no more, my anthem will sound on that eternal shore.
When I join with the angels in heaven on high singing, “Praise the Lord, I saw the light”.

Subdue the earth.

2006-02-07T07:44:00.000-06:00

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.

Genesis 1:27-28

Into Marvelous Light

2006-02-01T12:54:00.000-06:00

Thank you Lord to bring me back into the Marvelous Light

Into marvelous light
Charlie Hall

Verse 1
I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep

Verse 2
Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take your life.

Pre-chorus
Sin has lost it's power,
death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
VICTORIOUSLY!

Chorus
Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

Verse 3
My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I'm free. now I'm free!

Bridge
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

Lift my hands and spin
See the light within...

View from office.

2006-01-30T12:09:00.000-06:00

Skeek

2006-01-08T22:06:00.000-06:00

KMG Facility Engineering

2005-12-02T18:24:00.000-06:00

Thank you God that you brought me to this group of Brothers and Sister who want to follow you in every way of their life even their work! Bless them!

Slopes

2005-12-02T18:15:00.000-06:00

Ski 135CM, Boots 26

Back Agian

2005-12-02T15:32:00.000-06:00

Agian after two month of working, God took me back to here, look at where God has taken me from, a little town in China to a land thats half of the world away, then back agian, I can wait to see what He will do next.

2005-10-02T17:57:00.000-06:00

Fire in the Rice

Escaping Rita

2005-09-26T19:49:00.000-06:00

9AM, 09-21-2005 | Rita 165mph, coming to Houston at 120mph
5:30PM, 09-21-2005 | 7mph on Tollway using EZ-Tag

8:30PM, 09-21-2005 | Tollway to 290, red brake light from Houston to Austin

3AM, 09-22-2005 | It finally started to move on IH10, 15mph now, a little pass Katy Mills.

7:30AM, 09-22-2005 | Arrived at San Antonio, my poor little sister...

Back Agian

2005-09-12T11:54:00.000-06:00

Lord you took me here to this ocean two years ago to still my soul, so that I can hear your voice, now its been an amazing two years walking with you, and I am back to this ocean, Lord I pray that you would keep me near you, keep evil far from me, protect me from satan, use me, and guide my path in the way of righteousness for your name's sake!

Lord have Mercy!

2005-09-01T13:19:00.000-06:00

Jesus, I've forgotten the words that You have spoken
Promises that burned within my heart have now grown dim
With a doubting heart I follow the paths of earthly wisdom
Forgive me for my unbelief
Renew the fire again

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me

I have built an altar where I worship things of men
I have taken journeys that have drawn me far from You
Now I am returning to Your mercies ever flowing
Pardon my transgressions
Help me love You again

I have longed to know You & Your tender mercies
Like a river of forgiveness ever flowing without end
I bow my heart before You in the goodness of Your presence
Your grace forever shining
Like a beacon in the night

2nd Day

2005-08-16T14:04:00.000-06:00

Today is my second day to the rest of my life after college, I arrived at office 7AM, I started in the facility construction group, they showed me my office, it was huge with one side of the wall as window looking towards west Houston, I was just so full of awe, full of God�s goodness and his love. I remember a years ago I was in the same building upstairs as an intern, one day after finding out that Kerr-McGee did not hire anyone how had below a 3.2 GPA myself had a 2.8, I was thinking to myself �Oh Lord, why are you doing this to me, why did you put me here, why do you want me to taste something that I can not have, in my heart I have this burning fire to bring your good news to every corner of this earth and seems to me you going to use my job as an petroleum engineer to do that, but how is all this going to work out?�

I didn�t know who it is possible, but I knew that to God all things are possible, He brought to me his words, �1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual[] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.� - Romans 12:1-2

I felt God was telling me you need not to be anxious Huan, come to me my burden is light and my yoke is easy, offer your self to me Huan, you don�t need to figure out your life all on your own, you don�t need to plot how you going to advance in your life, just come to me, and obey me you will taste my good pleasing an perfect will. I took His words and I hold on to it, last October He give me a gleam of what part of that will is like, Kerr-McGee offered me a job with salary that is top 3 in the whole department of petroleum engineering.

This week as I started my job, God just been throwing His goodness at me one after another, as a bridegroom impresses his new bride with all his riches. After I got into my office, they start to put together a computer for me, in the afternoon I got it, and it was a brand new ThinkPad, even better then my new laptop I brought last year, I was just so impressed, wow God you are just so faithful, and today I found out my annual salary had been raised by $2k more before I even did anything. And you know what is amazing, I been hoping to have some Christians around the office, and the platform I came to Christ two years ago is actually build by this very same group 8 years ago.

I felt so undeserving, that I really don�t deserve all this, there are guys in petroleum department what has the same GPA as I am, working in west Texas, in the field cranking the spool to lower logging tools into newly drilled wells, here I am sitting in this big office with air conditioning, I totally don�t deserve this, if it wasn�t for God�s graciousness I am still in the little town by the desert in China pumping gas at gas station with my childhood friends.

�Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
-1 Corinthians 1:26-31

I just fell like Gods hands had been guiding me all these years, putting me at the right places and right times so that I might finally be able to see Him, repent and finally come to a relationship with Him. That He is faithful to his words, and He is who He say He is.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matthew 11:28-30

I know that difficulty will come to us soon, and I know when I am weary and burdened by things of this world and when I turn and repent and seek after my Lord my savior I will find rest, for his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

China Pic

2005-07-26T22:43:00.000-06:00

Spicy, umm good

Chongqin

Where I was from

No trees

Favor 102 degee F, Medcine Injection

Ahh, it feels so good when it injects

Family

Chinaman's Family

Byebye, my old home

China Pic

2005-07-26T22:32:00.000-06:00

Family

China Pic

2005-07-26T22:29:00.000-06:00

Lan Lan

China Pic

2005-06-25T20:38:00.000-06:00

Nanjing

Tiananmen Square, Beijing

Empere's Palace, Beijing

Yi He Yung, Beijing (Empere's Resort)

China Pic

2005-06-25T20:30:00.000-06:00

Nanjing, they have crawfish in China!

China Pic

2005-06-25T20:29:00.000-06:00

Guangzhou

China is very dangerous

Su Zhou

Shanghai

Shanghai

Shanghai

Nanjing

China Pic

2005-06-25T20:21:00.001-06:00

Kelly's Mom

China Pic

2005-06-25T20:21:00.000-06:00

Budda Idol in Hainan Island

China Pic

2005-06-25T20:19:00.000-06:00

Gulf of Yalong, Hainan

China Pic

2005-06-25T08:38:00.000-06:00

China Pic

2005-06-25T08:35:00.000-06:00

Finally I am able to get internet connection on my laptop. Now I am in Hainan Island, the southest point of China, its a beautiful place. But no matter how beautiful it is, it is full of wickedness of the world, Lust, Greed... Tempatation has been stronger, as I get fewer and fewer interaction with Christians, my cries to the Lord has been stronger, and Amazingly even now, He is using me, helping me with my temptations through most unconventional ways, He is really everywhere, my dependance on Him has grow stronger and stronger, as my self will getting weaker and weaker.

China Pic

2005-06-03T05:28:00.000-06:00

People Everywhere!

I thought UT Shuttle Bus is bad...

Beijing

2005-06-01T09:59:00.000-06:00

I have arrived in Beijing on May 31st, I am staying Beijing Institute of Technology foreign student's apartment. Walking around in Beijing does evoke lots of past feelings with Emma and some new feelings are been aroused, my feeling is like the little boats in the lake moving all over places, I feel that if I was the same person 3 years ago, in the December of 2002, I would be again be consumed by my feelings and emotions.

But this time my foundation is build on the solid rock that will not change, I have too keep realign my eyes back on Lord Jesus Christ for direction, He is like that tall tower that is big and straight that give me a point of reference to remind me of who I am. Holy Sprit is able to warn me of things, and been helping me. My feeling of struggle in temptation before I left is right, I am so glad I brought along with me some Joshua Harris books, and the Great Divorce by CS Lewis, and the holy sprit has been busy directing all my free time to those books and the Bible. I feel that I have to constantly realign my walk in the path of righteousness despite Satan's effort to tug me left and right.

I been praying for my time with my friend Tien Tien, that God would guard my heart, at same time I can make the Gospel of Jesus Christ known to her in a way that she can understand, but seems like so far I am not doing too great of a job, I really need God to do something to speak through me. But mostly I been trying very hard to love her as sister in a pure Godly way, and Holy Sprit is helping me a lot in that area.

I will staying Beijing till June 5th, then I'll be head on a train to Nanjing, in central China. God please use me here to make You know to Tien Tien!

Graduated!

2005-05-26T17:07:00.000-06:00

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil,for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil;my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

-Psalm 23

Four years ago I came to University of Texas with the attitude of that I am Huan, I can do anything I wanted if I work hard enough, by end of sophomore year I had failed miserably, I had few friend, who only interested in me because I had something they wanted from me. I end up with horrible grades, and I felt so lonely that no one in this world really care about me, and I was all alone.

That very summer I was send out to an oil platform, there I had strange desire to read the bible and God found me, this past two years, my relationship with God grown, my life start to change, my pride was totally taken away, God enabled me to love my family, my grades raised, and He brought me so many good friends much much more then those few friends I had, and all of them love me much much more than those few friend I had ever did.

Last Friday as I was waiting in line in Frank Erwin Center waiting for my turn to walk across the stage, I felt God, I couldn’t have made it without you, thank you for all of this! You have done all you promised me, I give you my very best, and you give your very best. Psalm 23 was my college experience.

His Carts

2005-05-11T15:08:00.000-06:00

Yestorday my employer from Houston, send people to move my stuff back to Houston, I told them if I need to pack things and get ready for them, they told me no, we will pack everything for you, and we will deliver all you have to your home in Houston. At 1pm the moving people called, I came out I saw a 18 wheeler pulled alone the side of simkins, it was like size of simkins.

I saw the moving truck, I remembered a biblical story, of how God used Joseph and Pharaoh to take take the nations of Isreal to Egypt.

16 When the news reached Pharaoh's palace that Joseph's brothers had come, Pharaoh and all his officials were pleased. 17 Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Tell your brothers, 'Do this: Load your animals and return to the land of Canaan, 18 and bring your father and your families back to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt and you can enjoy the fat of the land.' 19 "You are also directed to tell them, 'Do
this: Take some carts from Egypt for your children and your wives, and get your father and come. 20 Never mind about your belongings, because the best of all Egypt will be yours.' "
-Genesis 45

Today God used my employer to send me carts to move me back to Houston, because that is where He want me to go, like the Isrealites in Egypt. When God move us, He will move us, He will send His best to impress His beloved. And I was just impressed and amazed by God's power His love for me, someone who is so unworthy, so underserving, and I can think of so many people deserve more than I do, but God want this, because He has a plan, and this is His will.

Drink Offering

2005-04-26T19:59:00.000-06:00

2 Timothy 4

1In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage¨Cwith great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

6For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day¨Cand not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Manna and steak

2005-04-12T13:18:00.000-06:00

2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD .
Deuteronomy 8:2-3

Surely God could give Israelites steak everyday if He chooses to, but He knows, they would be so consumed his blessing that they would forget Him, it is really God who will never fail to satisfy. Also it is better to be depend your self with manna that come from God then depend on steak that you slaughter, steak might be tasty for the moment, but in the long run it will ruin your health and cause heart attack. Furthermore, Manna from God will never run dry, because God never disappoint, and steak that we slaughter is not guaranteed to be here tomorrow.

Many time, I feel I have desire to get married, I desire companionship, love and intimacy with a women. But just as God give Israel manna to fill them up, God give me brother companionship, love, intimacy with family, surely the brotherly love is different from love with women, and intimacy with family is different from intimacy with women. But it is love and intimacy never the less, just as manna was food, steak is food never the less.

Real Love

2005-04-03T22:14:00.000-06:00

In my life, only two times that I am the happiest , the first one is that when I was 6 year old, right before my mother left me and my father to come to US to study, she was away from me for 6 years. At that time I felt so happy that I have the most beautiful women (mom) that loves me the most.

The second time that I am the happiest is from when I turn my life to God almost 2 years ago till now, that even thu my mom was taken away from me by cancer, even thu my father physically abused when I was young, I have a Father that loves me more then my earthly father ever would, who will never fail me and who will leave me, who is in fact with me till the very end of age.

I remember my life before I became a christian, I was looking for Love where ever I could find, I was taking loving from other where ever I could find, and it wasn't very much. But now my life is fill with love that come from my infailable heavely father! And I can Love others, I can give Love to others.

God brings me great friends, who is shoulder for me, when I am weak, who is there to encourage me when I am down, and who is there for me, when I go through trail, than you Xposure friends, that you all know what is Real Love. Thank God, and only Lord Jesus Christ, I can have friends as great as you all!

The Incredibles

2005-03-26T11:09:00.000-06:00

The Incredibles is a family of superheros saving the world one day at a time. Each has a special gift, that not one, or two, but combination of the whole family they are able to defeat multitude of nasty evils.

Last night I saw it with Scott, right before me, Derek and Mark Meandro went down to 6th street to witness, and pass-out Gospel tracks. It just reminded me that we all are Christs ambassadors, we all are given a special spiritual gift, a life that we can use to sever God and the lost world around us.

End of the night, as me Derek and Mark were praying in the car for those people who received the gospel track, and those who we had conversations with. I suddenly just realize something. I used to ask God why did you bring me into a family that my father would physically abuse me when I was young, why did you take my mother away with cancer, why did you allow me to do so terrible for semesters in college, and why do you provide a job for me that I dont deserving.
God answered that last night.

Last night as I was sharing with an atheist why God is real, alive and active with my testimony and my life, I found that they can not argue that my argument is circular or about anything philosophical in order to evade the questions that I am not God and there is something bigger than me. Because it is my life, God come through for me, and what else is there but God, he says just because He come through for you dont mean He is real, I told him why dont you ask that guy there (Derek), or that guy there (Mark) or that girl over there (Girl from Jesus Crew), to see if God is real in their life or not. Then they left.

Derek asked a dude who just got a track and was asking us about it What do you think is the purpose of life? The dude replied Nothing I asked Why you say that? We asked few more question, and the dude and his friend walked off and shouted something to the effect of, I had enough of this.

That God want to use us, with our lives to reach out to the lost confused and dying world there, that we go to the world no in puffed up pride, but in love, weakness and fear, and with much trembling, me and Derek sure had a lot of the trembling last night (you know what I mean Derek). That God allow all those things happen to us in our lives, some good some very very bad, so that we can go and testify Sprits power in our life, and transformation of our lives!

2For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 3I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. 4My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power

We are all given a unique life, a unique talent, so that we can go and serve God and be used by God to make Him know to the world.

4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men, 7Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.
-1 Corinthian 12:4-11

We are all not very much unlike the incredible, because of our God our maker is beyond incredible, and He want us to go and save this dying world, He will be with us to the end of ages! The world can only fantasize that kind of life in their movie theaters, but we can go and live it out everyday of our lives.

16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. -Matthew 28

A Great Tree!

2005-03-25T10:36:00.000-06:00

16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

-Matthew 7

Lord I will do you will, Lord it is hard, I need your help, only with your help that I can carry my cross! Help me to be a great tree that will bare many many fruits, let me keep die to my self, so this little fruit with seeds in it can be planted, those little seeds can die to it self and become a great tree!!

God I know you want to see my heart, where does it belong? It belongs to you, and you only. Nothing, no where else! You are good, great, and you satisfy me in every way! You are better than anything else in this whole entire universe. I am thankful that I can drawn upon your love, and grace anytime!

2005-03-19T16:37:00.000-06:00

So that is what keep me employed?

Passion and Purity

2005-03-18T10:48:00.000-06:00

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
-Songs 8:4

Square Dancing

2005-02-13T02:52:00.001-06:00

Square Dancing

Everyone

I am here to rise with You

2005-02-12T17:44:00.000-06:00

When All Around Has Fallen
-Delirious

When all around has fallen your castle has been burned
You used to be a king here now no one knows your name
You live your life for honour, defender of the faith
But you've been crushed to pieces and no one knows your pain

Come, come lay your weary head be still my friend
Come, rise I'll place my sword upon your shoulder
Come, rise with me

When tomorrow has been stolen and you can't lift your head
And summer feels like winter your heart is full of stone
Though all your hopes have fallen your skin is now your only armour
Wear your scars like medals defender of the faith

Come, come lay your weary head be still my friend
Come, rise I'll place my sword upon your shoulder
Come, come lay your faithful head, be still my friend
Come rise with me

My Light House

2005-02-11T17:35:00.000-06:00

Last weekend I went home to Houston, I went to see a family friend, her mother is an attorney, a divorce attorney. I asked her about how she is doing, how is work, she told me about her recent client, a aerospace engineer at Clear Lake area, his wife left him after twenty year of marriage, and went to be with her ex boyfriend from high school, she wants the house, and she wants to take the children to Michigan to be with her and her boyfriend. I was so sadden by it, my heart filled with sorrow. The divorce attorney then told me that average marriage in America lasts 8 years, 51% of marriage ends up in divorce. My heart felt a sharp pain.

I started to reflect on my own life, I feel like when I first become a Christian I realized that if I want to follow God, if I want to be used by God, I must be pure and be holy for him. And I want to be man of God, I want to make a difference in this world for God, I want used by God to do powerful things. So when other girls temp me, I tell them don’t touch me like that, don’t talk to me like that, I am weak, I am just easily tempted. I must flee from temptation.

Its like I want a lighthouse high up there in the mountains, with solid rock as its foundation, so that when rain comes, wind blows my house is not going to be washed away. But to build a lighthouse high up in the mountains takes time, take time to pick choice timber, take time to get the timber up there, take time to find skilled labor, skilled labor take time to make sure house is build perfectly. But sometimes when the house is halfway done, I start to get impatient with the builder, maybe I don’t really want a lighthouse up high in mountains, maybe I just want a little shack on the beach, I can have it tonight, it can provide a cover for me, for a short while, but when rain comes it will be washed away, when wind blows it will be blown down. Do I really want that?

When the lighthouse is build, it is great, but sometimes on a cold cloudy and rainy day, it feels so cold and dark in my little light house, I want a bright fire in my lighthouse, so that it can provide warmth for me, provide light for me, and even direction for the lost ships in the distance. But it takes time to find choice log, that will have a lasting flame, it take time to build a fire place, so it will not burn down the house, and it takes time to build a chimney, so I will not be choked by its smoke, and my walls be scorched black by its smoke. But sometimes on that cold cloudy and rainy day I get impatient with the builder, I just want go out and grab bunch of old new papers, some twigs and set up a little fire in my living room, so I can get light, warmth, right away, I don’t have to wait any longer in this nasty weather. And what happens, the newspaper and twigs burns brightly with big flames, it provides all I need for a moment, then it dies, and in the process, it produces big black smoke, I can’t breath I can’t see through it, and my walls are scorched black by the hot flame and smoke. I wonder to myself, why be it is like this, it suppose to provide comfort and warmth. Thankfully the faithful builder comes in, he tells me to put out the fire, to open my window, so the chocking smoke can be released, and he then comes in and paints my wall white as snow again. Thankfully the little fire I build didn’t burn down the house, but it was so close, the faithful builder came in at the just right timing. That was my story with my ex-girl friend. And thank God that He intervened.

I always thought that I will meet my wife in the university, now with only a few weeks left at UT, I am here alone by myself, I often think to myself, when are you going to provide for me God, maybe I need go and talk to that cute girl from my government class, she look nice, she seems nice. Maybe I can’t trust in the master of the universe. Maybe I just want to be like everybody else on February 14. But everybody else’s marriage last 8 years, and half of everybody else’s marriage ends in divorce, its just like that fire with old newspaper and twigs, it burns brightly for a moment and it dies, when it does it burns the whole house down with it, and it left people blinded and choked with its smoke.

Every decision we make has consequences, my life is the consequences of decision my parents made, I don’t want my kids to experience how my father treated me. Then I must make the right decision, and the right decision is not easy, it is painful at times, it hurts. But I have the choice. I must make the right choice, even if it hurts.

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84:10-12

I will wait for You

2005-02-10T23:20:00.000-06:00

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84:10-12

I would come!

2005-02-02T23:29:00.000-06:00

"Then he said to them all: If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God. - Luke 9:23-27

A simply plea

2005-01-26T19:06:00.000-06:00

God I Want to be great for you, God I want to be used by you, use me as you wish, whatever you want.

Everything

2005-01-10T21:51:00.000-06:00

Everything
Artist(Band):Chris Tomlin
With rain, with sun
With much, with less
With joy, with pain
With life, with death

The only things that satisfy come from You
They come from You

Everything that's beautiful
Everything that's wonderful
Every perfect gift comes from You

Your grace, Your heart
Your voice, Your touch
Your word, Your peace
Your hope, Your love

A thousand words could not explain
A thousand worlds could not contain
Every perfect gift comes from You

It comes from the Father of Lights
It comes from the Giver of Life
It comes from the Heavens above
It's coming straight from Your heart
To the people You love

2005-01-07T18:58:00.000-06:00

Angel

Sailing

2005-01-05T19:05:00.000-06:00

Me Scott and Ricky went to sailing with Wayne in Lake Livingston

Understandings

2005-01-01T21:01:00.000-06:00

I just come back from faithwalker conference, the speakers at the conference really spoke to me about one thing, is that I am still very much a prideful person, that God has teach me great things this year, these knowledge are great, yet I feel Satan have used that knowledge inspire pride with in me.

We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he out to know. But the man who loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3

God have many times this year given me His words to say to encourage my brothers and sisters, in my heart I know that it is not any of my words that encouraged my brothers and sisters. Yet for some reason I start to feel like of course I will always have something to say, that I am special and I deserve all of his wisdom that he entrusted to me but that is not true, it is God who has all the wisdom and it is He who will always have something to say to each one of us, I am lucky that God entrust some of his wisdom to me, I did not deserve any of it, yet out of His grace and love He is able to use me, a sinner that had rebelled against him.

This wrong attitude have caused me to be prideful in my diminutive knowledge, and cause me to rebuke harshly to my brothers who loves me with their heart, caused me not serve my brothers as much as I could have, and sometimes sined against my brothers with anger in my heart.

My dear brothers; take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to be come angry, for a mans anger does not bring about righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20

I have always wanted to be use by God to do great things, to make disciple of all nations, to be great for Gods sake. But if I cant be faithful with little knowledge given by God, how can I be entrusted with greater knowledge. And if I want to be great I must serve my brothers and sisters with all my heart, learn to be entrusted with small things, just as my Lord have done for me.

Jesus called them together and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.- Matthew 20:25-28

And that is the only way I can be great for Gods sake.

Boast

2004-12-26T14:22:00.000-06:00

This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD , who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD . -Jeremiah 9:23-24

2004-12-19T18:21:00.000-06:00

Mr and Mrs David Venable

Ecclesiastes

2004-12-13T13:56:00.000-06:00

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God.
-Ecclesiastes 24-26

Let me be used by you

2004-12-01T01:07:00.000-06:00

The word of the LORD came to me, saying,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

"Ah, Sovereign LORD ," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD .

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."

-Jeremiah 1:4-10

O LORD , you deceived me, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaiming violence and destruction.

So the word of the LORD has brought me insult and reproach all day long. But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name, " his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

-Jeremiah 20:7-10

Thanksgiving Reflections

2004-11-28T01:16:00.000-06:00

This year has brought me great understanding in God, and great revelation in God’s plan for me in the future. I feel like there is three things He have been teaching me, Love, Faith and Suffering.

First, He started with Love in the summer, He brought Matthew 22:37-40 to me when summer just started, I was back home working and I was suddenly surround by non-Christian, I wanted to do something, I wanted to change them but I had no idea how.

“Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

He taught me Huan just let it go, it is my work to change their hearts, break their prides, and renew their hearts. I am the savior, I am the redeemer and the healer, not you. I just want to you love Me with all you got, love these people around you like you self, and I’ll do the rest. I saw with my own eyes how my father grows closer in God, how my brothers grow strong in their conviction, how my co-workers ask me where to start to read the bible, and how someone gives their heart to Christ. I saw with my own eyes how Lord Jesus Christ did His business, how His words come to life, and all I did was just simply loved them as best as I could.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” –John 13:34-35

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” -1 Corinthians 13:1-7

Second, He showed me the meaning Faith. Starting last semester, when I lost my RA job during the school year, when my grades is terrible from my own mistakes, I thought to myself, how I am suppose to support my self, how I am suppose to fulfill the vision He give me, to be a petroleum engineer be send over seas to share His name and to advance His kingdom? He then showed me these verses.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:33-34

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Roman 12:1-2

That I need not to worry, about how all those thing will work out, all I need to do is seek His kingdom in my studies, to understand His design in petroleum engineering, seek His righteousness in my walk with Him, I need to offer my body as living sacrifice to Him pure and holy, not want what/desire this world want/desire, but want and desire what is of God. Only then I can be able to test and approve what God’s will.

Summer started, I stared my internship, after talking to various new hires at the company, I found out this company have never hired anyone with below 3.0 GPA, and I have 2.8. I was again worried and frustrated, how all this suppose to work out. Than He showed me these verses during summer.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” –Proverbs 4:25-27

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see..”-Hebrew 11:1

That I need not worry about how I need to get my boss to like me, I just need to love them as Christ loved me, I just need to do the best as I can of my job that is set before me, and certain and sure that what God will give me what I needed.

This October I got a call from Kerr-McGee, the company I worked for in the summer, that they have an offer for me after graduation in Houston, before the people with much much higher grades, and the compensation was so much, it was much much more then what I needed, or what I deserve. Again I saw with my own eyes how His words come to life, how He provided for thing I don’t deserve.

Third, He teached me about suffering, started at beginning of this year. In February, I lost my RA job at the university, I was fired by my Hall Coordinator for negligence in my job, I was fired for not taking my walkie talkie to the bathroom while giving my student hair cut, for late to my on-call duty because of my exam took longer then expected, etc … I felt extremely unfair, my students wanted to write protest letters to the higher ups, but I know this is God’s will, I did do all those thing I was accused of, and I need to respect authorities, no matter how unfair I might fell.

Then with in two weeks, I broke up with my fiancés that I was engaged to, I realized we had made idols of each-other, that God wanted me to seek Him first, love Him with all my heart all my soul and all my strength, that I was not ready, I was still immature in my walk, how can I lead her, and my future is still uncertain, how can I rescue her? It was so hard, I did not want to do that at all, but again I know this is God’s will, that this is for the best. I will walk this broken road because it prepares Your will for me.

Two week ago I rememorized Psalm 23,
“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Now just this past week, on Tuesday night after my test, I was driving back home from Austin on 290, I set my cruise control at 80mph. 2AM finally, I arrived in Houston I was very tired, I turned on the 290 ramp to get on Beltway 8 to go home, just as I got on the ramp I realized my cruise control is still on and this is way too fast for this ramp, I stump on the breaks, but it was already too late, my back tires broke loose started to slide toward left at 80mph, I corrected to the right try to stabilize, but the whole back end traction have broken loose, I end up sliding side ways on the 84 ft high ramp, my front driver side crashed into the ramp wall while sliding side ways, finally while slide sideways on the ramp, back end of my car crashed into the ramp wall, and my car come to a rest sitting sideways on the 84 ft high ramp. Later a friend ask what did you think about while all this is happening, I remember that I felt calm, in my head I thought, is this the valley of the shadow of death? I will not fear, for You are with me. And thank you God that I am not hurt, that you protected me while sliding sideways 80mph on 84 ft high ramp and that my car is still repairable, Thank you Lord Jesus.
(Picture http://huanhuan.blogspot.com/2004/11/lost-control.html )

God again brought a verse for this.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. " -Romans 5:3-5

Thank you for you Love Lord Jesus for this year, its been a wild ride, but man oh man, life is exciting living in the Lord, I can’t wait what you will do next. Sometimes, it seems like winter, leafs are falling off, all seems dying, everything is not happening like how we wanted, but spring is coming, all will be green again, this hope does not disappoint us, God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. The LORD is our shepherd, we shall not be in want. He makes us lie down in green pastures, he leads us beside quiet waters, he restores our soul. He guides us in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil, for you are with us; your rod and your staff, they comfort us. You prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies. You anoint our head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow us all the days of our life, and we will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

His Love

2004-11-24T14:34:00.000-06:00

'"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. " -Romans 5:3-5

Lost control

2004-11-24T03:56:00.000-06:00

On the way home. 2AM, at 290 to Beltway 8 ramp.

Lost control entering Beltway 8 on ramp, thank you for protecting me God.

Sometime, cups are filled with bitter water, but still this is Your will, it will be all good. You are my good shepherd, you will make me lie down in green pasture and lead me besides quiet stream, and You restore my soul. You will guide me in path of righteousness, for you name's sake. Even through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.

Take you back

2004-11-22T23:45:00.000-06:00

Take you back
-Jeremy Camp

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Tho my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds
Forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
And I know your response will always be

I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

I can only speak with a graceful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back
Even when the pain is coming through
You take me back

My Desire

2004-11-22T17:46:00.000-06:00

My Desire
-Jeremy Camp

You want to be real
You want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the King
You want to be whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real
You want to be emptied inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen where you've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all you've done so I give my hands to use

Nothing Else I Need
-Jeremy Camp

When I think of all I've seen
Nothing compares to what you give
And to drink of what you bring
You quench the thirst for me to live
I am satisfied by what tenderness you've shown to me
And I empty all that I am

And you fill my life
You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me
And there's nothing else I need anymore

I have tasted
And I know this fire birthed inside will only grow
And I've sought all that this world tried to offer me
And it lead me to your feet
And I empty all that I am

And you fill my life
You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me
And there's nothing else I need anymore

I will lay down all my needs and you will come and make them new
To make you my only desire, my desire
And you fill my life
You're everything to me

And you fill my life
You're everything to me
There's nothing else I need anymore
And I know you are everything to me
And there's nothing else I need anymore

There's nothing else I need...

Letter of Encouragement

2004-11-22T17:15:00.000-06:00

Huan,

Thanks for following God into this step and letting us know what has come of it. I know I speak for many of those reading this email when I remind you that your faith has encouraged us all. More importantly, your life including your recent actions pleased God.

When you and I talked on the phone before your meeting, I reminded you that you have done what you were supposed to do: be a seeker of God in your everyday life with Scripture and prayer; seek counsel from godly men; examine your heart and the circumstances. The time had come to leave the trench, and you did it like the men before you. Well done, Huan.

God would have us remember that those who leave the trenches may be wounded, but they'll never die. Men who suffer in Christ go on to glory, and our Father rewards them. Those who stay in the trenches may never receive wounds, but the trench will be their grave as COWARDICE slowly buries them alive.

I write in this way because everyone reading this letter has treated the recent proposals with seriousness. Now we should all acknowledge the glory found in obeying God. You, and others had the heart of men to climb out of the trench and face life. Each man had to find his own nerve to fight, and each of you found it.

"Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation." ISAIAH 12:2

In Christ,

-Kelly

Keep Walking

2004-11-22T13:28:00.000-06:00

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face.
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace.
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me.

I was once almost married to someone, God called me and told me Huan you were meant to be swim in a vast ocean, not in a muddy pound, follow me and I will lead you to the ocean. I said Here I am God, I will walk with you. As I walk with God to the ocean, all I can see is nothing but endless desert, then I saw glimpse of ocean in distance, I walk to it and found it is just a mirage, I am still surrounded by the desert.

I cry out to God, where is this ocean, I do not see? Why does all those wicked man are swimming in their muddy pounds, and here I am walking in the desert, I have followed you, offered myself as living sacrifice to you as best as I can, did not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, I wanted to test and approve your will, your good pleasing and perfect will. Now you have spoken, it is so hard to swallow. For You alone God will judge this world, you will give righteous man what he deserves, and you will punish the wicked and give them what he deserves, for you are God almighty, the God of righteousness, the God of justice. I will walk with you, because of this broken road prepares Your will for me.